Dying Moment

         Have you ever had an experience where you thought you were dying, and came back to realize that it enhanced your life?  This dynamic dying moment occurred in my life the time I got hit with a softball.  I was pitching for the Lady Falcons on a Thursday before spring break 1998.  My catcher kept calling the same pitch over and over again; I knew the hitters would catch on.  The ninth batter came up to bat and had hit the first pitch right back at me.  I had gotten hit in the head.  The ball then went out to the outfield.  I looked around and then fell straight to the ground, screaming and rolling frantically.  My coach ran over with my dad and assisted me to the ambulance.  I was rushed to the hospital to have extensive x-rays.  This incident not only changed my life but also shaped it in several ways.

            After the ball it me, I blacked out.  When I regained consciousness, I was crying hysterically and I felt a moist, but warm feeling in my ears.  Was I dead?  Were my eardrums bleeding?  I thought the ball’s impact, created too much pressure in my head, and I was going to lose my life.  After a few minutes, I opened my eyes and saw the bluest sky you could ever imagine; I ceased my screaming instantly.  I regained my consciousness and kissed the dirt.  I could not believe I was going to die.  I now know that I have one life, a very short one.  If I proceed to take my life for granted, I accomplish nothing.  Every breath I take I cherish.  I am grateful towards the end of every night because I made it through another day.  I am now very scared to die.  Being cut off from life will be a challenge for me, but now that I have experienced what I thought was death, my eyes are open and I am very thankful.

            When I was lying on the ground I started thinking about my family.  I thought of all the things we did not do.  My parents and I had a communication gap.  I had never let them know that I love them and vice versa.  I wanted to show how I really felt about them and give them my love.  My family is a very enormous piece of my life and if I had left before letting them know that, I would have left some unfinished business.  So everyday since then, I assure them of how much I love them and let them know how special they are to me.  The injury has opened my eyes and especially my heart.  Our relationship has greatly improved, and it is all because of my experience with death. 

            Five days after my incident, I had an opportunity to play in a game.  I was unable to play due to the fact that my head was literally too big for any of the batting helmets.  The hematoma on my head had swelled to the size of a softball and I grew two black eyes.  Blood vessels in both of my eyes had popped and my head was extremely sensitive.  I was humiliated at school because of this.  I later established a fear of softballs.  When I started playing again I was very timid.  Finally by the end of the season, with a lot of hard work, I earned myself an All-District award at first base and broke Clear Lake High School’s fielding average.  My accomplishments have earned me a ride in college to perform on a college level. 

            You can still touch my head today and I will flinch away with pain.  From this critical moment I have improved my social and athletic capabilities.  The pain I had on the ground was a feeling as if I was drowning; I felt really helpless.  If you see me playing a softball game, you definitely will not see me on the mound.

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This page was last edited 12/06/1999